meet me or not, i'm out of control
Be still, my beating vagina.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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