Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
