Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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