The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
