Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
should my penis look like a turkey
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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