he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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