Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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