What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
