Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
