i just google imaged poop.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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