sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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