it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
