i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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