Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
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