Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
