Everything about him screamed your future.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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