So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
