Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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