there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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