I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
