ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
