absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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