when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
