is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize