wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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