It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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