I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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