No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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