it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
