I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
