I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
