I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
