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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list

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• (214): View more from Texas

  I'm full of awesome ideas

  (972): View more from Texas

  Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.

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• (845): View more from New York

  We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.

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• (518): View more from New York

  He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?

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• (850): View more from Florida

  Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about

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• (845): View more from New York

  I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?

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