Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I bet he comes in French.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize