It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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