Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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