he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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