I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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