You work out of a Hotel?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize