6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
