Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
