i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
