batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
