That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
this boner is exhausting
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
