A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
