She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
porn star boner night. come get it.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
