oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
