i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
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