U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize