I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
