sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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