Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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