I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
