It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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