Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
