i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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