Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
There r osticjed everywhere
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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