respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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