theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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