her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
