She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
