hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
