they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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