i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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