my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
