It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
