I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
